life coaching

I occasionally have days when I am reminded of the many directions my life has threatened to turn but, a choice was made, a path set, and I'm left to wonder about the "what-ifs". Many people dwell on the "what-ifs" years later, and some prohibit themselves from ever making choices out of fear of the "what-ifs"; I am thankful that I've come to a point in my life where I'm not pestered, only very rarely, by the "what-ifs". Today has been such a day.

In my student government role, I've been working a lot lately on interpersonal and organizational dynamics. In the last month, most of my non-science time has been consumed by this stuff. This morning, in the midst of a heavy discussion about structure and communication and introspection and such, it struck me how, despite my choosing a career path that ought to have kept me on a loftily intellectual feelings-free plane, I've once again found myself in the thick of another angst-ridden, emotional situation to resolve. Is fate telling me something? Had I consciously sought to deny my true calling of "the psychiatrist is in" I might start to wonder; but I acknowledged long ago that this seems to be an inescapable part of my nature, and only the environs will change. Friends, family, co-workers, strangers on the MUNI -- it doesn't seem to make any difference. I'm a repository for psyches. Or psychoses, if you're the sort. A vôtre guise. I suppose I'm fortunate, then, to have a poor memory, or else I'd be great at blackmail.

So now, at the end of another failure-ridden day in the laboratory, I ponder the sly job offer I received earlier today. Deb: martial artist, life coach, organizational consultant, sees in me an intuition for the kind of work she does, to the point that she mentioned to her business partner that I'd be someone to recruit. Well, that's peachy, but it doesn't solve my cloning issues! I suppose there should be some comfort in knowing that I've got a useful skill set, to use the corporate phraseology, but how do I reconcile this with the part of me that loves/hates my science? Can one be both intuitive/sensing or judging/perceiving? I've taken the Myers-Briggs test at least three times in my life, and I swear to you each time I've typed differently. Ultimately, it was irreconcilabilities in my own nature that turned me off to psychology; how does one divorce their intellect from their intuition? In me they are fused, refusing categorization.

I digress. What makes me "the most grounded person" to so many people? Even as I write this, my thoughts flit from frustration with my lab work, an evaluation of today, planning tomorrow, a previous night's conversation with my parents (during which I alarmed them, I think, when I said I was writing a blog)...hardly a focused mind. Just so, today it became clear to me that I should be thankful I'm constructed the way I am, and I can trust my choices in life. The paths I've eschewed (editor/psychologist/anthropologist/medical doctor/sane non-scientist) thus far I don't regret; the paths ahead are many.

Hm. I wonder how much life coaches make in a year?